A Refining Influence

A little over two weeks ago, my mother died suddenly of a stroke.  There was no warning and no indication of poor health.  She was here and present in my life and then she just wasn't anymore.

There are two thoughts that have kept me afloat these last few weeks.  The first is to simply remember her when I miss her - to fill the hole she has left with the comforting memories of a loving mother.  The second is to appreciate the "refining influence" that sadness can have on us.  Ecclesiastes 7:2-4 says this:

Better to spend your time at funerals than at parties.

    After all, everyone dies—

    so the living should take this to heart.

3 

Sorrow is better than laughter,

    for sadness has a refining influence on us.

4 

A wise person thinks a lot about death,

    while a fool thinks only about having a good time.

I don't think we talk about sorrow and suffering enough - especially in the church.  It is fashionable nowadays to mostly talk about overcoming, purpose, destiny, that our "best days are ahead" and so forth.  While these sentiments have elements of truth, it is also true that we will have sufferings and sadness as well.  We will experience loss and this loss refines us as people.

I'm not sure happiness has the same affect on us.  I've never heard anyone exclaim "All the joy I'm experiencing right now is causing me to re-evaluate my life and concentrate on what really matters."  No, we see joy and happiness as indicators that things are going right - so why would we change things?

While I have no idea what refining influence this sadness will produce in me - I am committed to let it have its work.  Sadness over a loss is not something to be fixed - it is something that fixes us.