A Simple Truth For Men

KPIC recently held an all-night prayer meeting. Sometime between the 2AM muffin break and fighting the 4AM sleepys, my mind wandered around the differences between men and boys.

I thought back to my early days as a teenager and wide-eyed christian. I was 16 years old, my parents were in the midst of a divorce and separated, and I was hungry for a safe place. I could not articulate this at the time, of course. But now, looking back, I know that is what it was. There were a few good men who took time to encourage me and teach me. I would show up at their doors, unannounced and uninvited, and (to borrow a phrase from my friend Kate) "insert myself into their life". They would stop whatever it was they were doing and talk and listen. It was great - for me. Now, as an adult, I realize what an inconvenience this was for them. Two of them were married, one had kids of his own - but yet they never made me feel that I was intruding. They created a safe place for me.

Men create safe places. They take responsibility for those around them. They defend, encourage, lead and love those in their care. They are not passive.

Those men for me were Jeff Campbell, Tad Taylor and Bill Perry. Thanks guys for creating a safe place for me at such a crucial time in my life.

Friendship

I have been thinking more and more about friendships and the importance of them. This process has also forced me to re-evaluate how I view people in general. A couple years ago I began looking a little closer at the disciples - what really stuck out at me was how they were related to each other. Jesus seemed to call most of them in pairs - brothers (such as Andrew and Peter) or good friends (such as Philip and Nathanael). And even then, some of them were from the same town and probably knew each other or were at least familiar.

It seemed Jesus knew that each disciple needed someone else in the group that they really trusted. So it is with us. Relationships, and more pointedly friendships, are what keep me in the game. I used to foolishly think that I had some radical devotion to Christ that I was able to somehow call upon to keep me going. That I was some sort of spiritual lone ranger. Looking back now, I see how much people played a part for me - and I am humbled.

Sometimes in the church, we can be too "ministry" minded. What I mean is, we begin to view people as projects rather than valuable individuals. You don't respect "projects". You don't learn from "projects". There is no give and take with "projects". When I finally realized about age 30 that I might not have all the answers after all, the people around me started taking on new significance. Before then, I basically put people into 3 tiers (usually without much thought or interaction with them):

1. The Significants - These are the celebrities in our midst. The one everyone is clamoring to get to. The ones, when they speak, we give our full attention to and dare not interrupt.
2. The Peers - People we view to be like us and on the same level as us on the spiritual maturity scale.
3. The Projects - The lowly people who need my help - bless their hearts - but couldn't possibly help me.

Dudley Hall makes a great statement in his book "Grace Works" - he says "We feel significant when we spend time with significant people". That cut me. Not only did I realize that I unfairly put The Significants on a pedestal but that I, in some ways, defined my own worth by their opinion of me. I, in turn, passed that attitude down to The Projects and smugly felt like they looked up to me and needed my approval.

What finally really freed me of this unholy mindset was I Corinthians 4:3-5. Here it is in the NIV (emphasis mine):

"I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God."

I finally realized that I, really and truly, had faults. And that I was always going to have faults this side of heaven. For the first time, I really became comfortable with that realization. This, of course, implies that everyone has faults, including The Significants and The Projects. I began to see that all people had value and that value could add some quality to my life - if I would just take the time to seek it out.

I'm trying to walk this out now. It is one thing to realize a thing, it is another to apply it to your life consistently. I still fail at this, but at least now I know what to shoot for. To not reject the rejected and to accept the Significants as broken vessels, just as I am, and not demand perfection from them.

How should we live? - Part 1

The book of Acts, chapter 3, tells us of a time when Peter and John ran across a beggar in front of the temple. The guy was crippled. Peter called to him and said "Look at us." The beggar turned toward them "expecting to receive something" - money, of course. Peter declared to him, "Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, stand up and walk." Then he took him by the hand, pulled him up onto his feet and the man walked and leaped for joy, shouting praises to God.

God used this passage several years ago to open my eyes to a new understanding - a revelation - about how I am supposed to live and pray. If I had been Peter in this story, my prayer for this man would've probably been something like this: "Lord, if it is your will, I ask that you heal this man." And then I probably would've trailed off into some sort of vague prayer about blessings and God drawing close to him. I did have faith that God heals, but yet I felt I was missing something because I never really saw results.

One day, when I was meditating on this scripture, God opened my eyes and I felt I truly read the story properly for the first time. It was so obvious, but yet I couldn't see it until my presuppositions were stripped away. No where in this passage is a prayer to God uttered. He is not addressed directly and He is not petitioned for His help. Peter knew that he had something on the inside already. Look at his statement: "What I have I give to you". He was addressing the man, not God, and he was saying he had something already that could change the man. What did he have?

Number 1) He had a revelation of healing. He had seen Jesus do it. He had done it himself before when Jesus sent them out two-by-two. He knew that God desired to heal.
Number 2) He had the Holy Spirit. Pentecost had just happened. The Spirit was poured out like never before. Jesus told him He would send a helper.
Number 3) He had a revelation of his responsibility to obey Jesus' command to "Follow me."

Now, don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying that Peter did all the healing and God had nothing to do with it. Far from it. Peter was simply walking in partnership with the Holy Spirit and being a vessel, an ambassador. In that moment, he knew that God desired for that particular man to be healed. Once he knew this, he simply had to declare it as truth and watch it happen.

I wonder how many times Jesus walked by this man, whom the scriptures say was "laid daily at the gate of the temple"? Surely He had seem him there begging. Was He being callous to this man? I think not. Jesus, ever obedient to the Father, knew it wasn't the proper time. But when Peter and John came along, God was ready and had orchestrated together just the right mix of people at just the right time. So when the power of God was released and the man was healed, it resulted in the gospel being preached and hundreds, if not thousands, coming to Christ (Acts 4:4).

It is not enough that we have the correct doctrine, we must also have the agreement of heaven.