- My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kick boxing.
- How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.
- I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.
- Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Reminds me a lot of Steven Wright's stand-up routines. Here are a couple of his:
- Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
- Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.
- Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
- I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
- I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Well, they're funny to me anyway...:)
J
